buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks

It is softball season again! MDK is on a 12 and under team. She is trying to secure shortstop and or 2nd base.. It was a beautiful summer evening. We are trying to find decent shorts for Missy and finally found some. So many of shorts for her age have inseams shorter than my index finger, not good. The idea is that the butt stay in the shorts and not hanging out.

Finally got to the land mine called my room, the house seems to be in better shape. I go this Friday to get my foot looked at, it may need some serious work done to it.

Dave is seeming to do better, has gotten back to his routine, but is taking extra naps, will get some results to see about his liver enzymes hope they keep going down.

Hope all of you had a great weekend ours was good.

a pretty successful day

Yesterday was a good homeschooling day, I got the girls up around 7 and was done and ready to go by 11:45. We majorly kick butt! MDK was a tad grumpy and moody but not bad at all. We are slowly and surely dwindly the work down. We also got things picked up really fast ate lunch and headed out the door.

First stop in town was the teacher's store, MDK and I sat down and found some writing curriculum she could use for the summer. Then off to the library, over to Office Max picking up paper for the church. We then went onto Borders. MLK had her writing club today, a bunch of homeschooler (12-20) get together the last Friday of the month to edit and share ideas on each other stories. It usually last an hour to an hour and a half. MDK hung out with some of the siblings, bought hot chocolate and looked through cool pirate books. I found a cheap box of little books filled with poems. We have been on a major poem kick around here. MDK loves Roald Dohl Vile Verses. MLK likes William Blake, Wordsworth, and Lord Bryon. She has memorized Tyger Tyger burning bright, and is working on She walks in Beauty in the night. Something she decided to do on her own. Walmart was our last stop we got gardening supplies MDK wants to be in charge and do that, I am all for that with the shape my ankle is in. She hopes it is dry enough to do it today. We got some new t-shirts also.

MLK is gone with her friend Sharon. Sharon is in a debate club in Raytown. MLK is interested but I cant drive that far on any regular basis with work and all. If Moores would like to take her with Sharon next year, not a problem, but we will wait and see today she is going to observe and see what she thinks. I thought I would include the shot MLK did for my photo class, this is under the abstract genre, I loved it!

Well all for now

books on tape

As I travel back and forth I listen to books on tape, and I have been listening to a really in teresting one called Hilter's Youth, talking about how Hitler used the young generation to mold his future. I think that every society does this to some extent, in the US I think the main message we have is being accepting of everything. That there is no absolute truth, no true right and wrong, just everything is our perception. I think that my generation is where it started and that it continues and flourishes today.

It is still raining here today, put in about two hours of school recording, conferencing and catch up on paperwork for school last night. Also some lesson plans, I have this great computer program that tracks hours, grades, attendance, can sort by many different criteria. The girls are down to 116 hours for MDK and 175 for MLK. It wont be too hard for them to finish those off. We have till June 30 to record hours. School hours are recorded from July 1 to June 30. Must have 1000 hours.

Trying really hard to find some good writing curriculum for Meg, her spelling has soared this last half of the year. Writing is something she dreads! On to the great search to find something that inspires her. She will starting baseball really soon. Tommorow MLK has a writing club she goes to. She loves to write the other hates it. MDK loves Math, the other hates it.

Almost got all classes and books lined up for MLK freshman year. She will be doing Consumer Math over the summer, then Algebra One in the fall, American Lit, American Sign Language One, Biology, Bible, World History and we decided on one more that is not coming to mind this early in the morning. She has directed which type of books she wants to use. Then we will write up lesson plans over the summer together. She will need 2oo hours per subject to equal what is called a Caraganie unit.

Well I had better go for now.

Mom she's copying me

Mom, Brennie copying me, no really I'm really glad my sister started her own blog. It will be awesome to keep up with her in this way. It is so hard to keep with everything you do in one day that it is good to have a place where you can go and take a peek at other people's life .

The picture of the flowers are some that the girls and I found in a hay field along the road up by Berlin the other day, not sure if they are domestic or wild or a hybrid of the two, but their smell fills our home. They are really pretty.

Back to work, a little nutty due to the fact I was gone. Dave went back to to the doctor, good news no Hepiitis A, but liver enzymes will continue to be mointered whatever attacked was a strong bug! In fact many of our church people have been hospitalized for one reason or another.

The girls and I are finishing off the school year, dropping subjects as we wrap them up. When we finish all the subjects we will then see how we are doing on the hours and then wrap that up. We have till June 30 to do that.

Next week will wrap up the enrichment classes with their Grand Finale.

MLK has been chosen to be part of the Missouri Baptist Youth Choir. It will be at then end of July and first week of August. She will need to raise around 200 dollars for the supplies and tour expenses. I am exicitied for her!!!

Well better go for now!

back to work

After playing nurse maid for two days and getting my kids back, it is back to work for me. Dave is recovering slowly and goes back to the doc today to see if it was Hep A he had. I am dreading the pileup I know I will have at work. Yuck!

Brenda emailed and I will have another nephew, I am thinking that Chris is a great name, what do you all think?:) I am happy for her, I wonder if she will say thats all folks after this one or will we go for number 4?? I think now when she is preganant is not the time to ask.

Had a good talk with both girls about spirtual stuff last night, they really opened up about how they were feeling about all the crap we have been through lately. MLK had us make a sandwich.
A"sandwich" was when the girls were little we would put them in between us in bed and then Mom and Dad would put our arms around them with them in the middle, then they would call out what they were roast beef, or bologna, or whatever, just a fun thing we did when they were little, but every now and again we have request from our big girls for such things.

Well off to earn a paycheck.

achoo and lots of hospital times

Well a long time at the hospital. It was a expensive vacation, but Daves doing better. Wednesday he goes to the doctor. They are testing to see if he has Hep. A. On top of that I sneezed and snotted the whole time.

Well better get off and take care of nurse maiding for now.

homeschooling conference

Dave was ill yesterday, sitting on his throne with a can in hand, not sure which way IT was coming, he has slept almost all day, but kept down Gatorade and Ramen noodles today. He is hoping to be able to go tommorow.

MLK and I went, looked over so many booths, she got to look at college materials and curriculum and just fun stuff also. I got to get Beyond Beautiful Girlhood (christian character) book, we read the first one this last year, excellent book, so wanted to get part two. I also got a package of books from Todd Wilson, they are a hoot, check out his website at www.familyman.com, the cartoons are a hoot! Refreshing to the soul, he has many lies Mom and to be more paticular, homeschool mom believe in, stuff about us, our children, our house cleaning abilities, etc. The one I dont have to worry about is the whole cooking thing. There is a big trend with homeschool mothers that everything must be from the garden, must be ground in our own home grinders, nothing processed, you know, put the hard corn in the flat bowl mentatility and grind it with home carved wooden spoon, make your own fire with flint and rock and then fry the cornmeal over flames thing. NOT me, I just hope that my processed bread doesnt have mold on it when I go to the kitchen, tee hee. However some of the lies of inadquecy however did hit me between the eyes. He also had good stories about his turkey flying through the RV windshield while on a bridge, and it being inside the RV, it was a good belly laugh for all. I loved it and MLK had tears coming into her eyes.

I need to give out a big thank you for all of our family who has come alongside us in our time of need, we have asked them to help us in odd and big ways and they have been such a suppport, we both felt like we were going under and just the small things have helped us so much.

It is a nice evening quiet, except for MLK chatting on the phone with L. They have the wierdest conversations. A nice breeze coming through the windows. Dave back in bed again, but I think the worst of the flu is over. Well will get off here for now.

finally reading a book

Eragon is the name of the book I am reading right now, I have been trying to read for a while, so I stuck it in my purse, a few weeks ago so that I could get it read. It is a good read, and I have been staying in for lunch at work and reading. Saving money and getting the book read not bad.

Our extended family has been helpful to give us help with all the samll things that help us stay afloat. That has been such a help.

Well better get around for today, and off to work.

math the final frontier

Math the final frontier, to boldly go where no MLK has gone before trying to get the last few lessons out of her as she drags her nails feet and all body parts and makes wild frantic claw marks across the ground, only 12 more lessons!

MDK is going to Gma Viv for a few days while we go to the conference. She will take a partial work load with her but will not have to do it all as she gets her few days off with Gma Viv, like MLK did a month or two ago.

We had a good day, a little rushed and grumpy but overall not bad.

Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland type of day yesterday, seems that I wasnt sure if I was falling up or falling down. It was rather nutty day, full of running in circles, I stayed late just so I could feel like I got something accomplished.

Viv and Dave are over, they are helping us out, alot of our family in the past few months have come to our aid, they have helped out with all the little things that we cant seem to accomplish right now. They and the girls worked on the basement yesterday afternoon. I have not gone down to see as my left leg was almost twice the size of my right and therefore I was doctoring it last night. I suspect it looks awesome. If my foot lets me I will wonder down there today.

School is plooding along, they have caught spring fever like all other kids, but they are also exicited about finishing out their books, as they are coming down to the finish line on alot of them. It looks like mid May we should be done. Then we will go to some summer studies but nothing extremly strenous. MLK has decided to get her consumer Math out of the way, she is dreading that she will need four courses of Math to graduate, so she is getting the first one out of the way soon. She will do Algebra 1 this fall. Then Algebra 2 and then Geometry.

She and I will be formulating her high school courses, and will be going to a homeschool conference this weekend, there are certain types of courses she will need to have, but want her to have input on curriculum types, and such, and esp choosing electives.

Well better get her up and get her going.

late night talk

Dave was wound up from the dedication Sunday yesterday, so we went on a small drive and was able to just chat, that was very good. It is so the small quiet times that help reconnect when you are lost in a swirl of activity and stress.

Yesterday we had lots of family down, it was nice to have them all here in support of us and of our church.

Yeah, dedication Sunday is behind us, now we as a congretation can refocus on the work of the Lord, that being people.

Much looking forward to our conference this weekend.

God does answer prayer

Today God answered a prayer, a private prayer that Dave and I had for about a month. Needless to say, it was a blessing in more ways than one.

Today was dedication Sunday, the entire upstairs is pretty much considered finished, and the Sunday was a good time of reflection, dedication and challange. It was nice time to see old and new learn and fellowship with each other.

This weekend we go to the homeschool conference I am looking forward to that and Gma Viv is coming over to help us out.

It is hard lesson to learn that sometimes you have to be the receiving end of the giving/receivning. But I think that's the lesson of this calender year.

Well all for now.

quiet time alone together

I worked with the girls yesterday till 1 and then Dave and I took off to do grocery shopping together, rwe were out of everything. Dave knew it would be good if just the two of us were off together, we hit all the sales at all the stores so we could make the money stretch . . . I got cheese for 45 cents at the first store, due to a sales price and a coupon, that was cool!
Then it happened the ignition switch wouldnt turn, we sat there for half hour finally we beat it in and then it turned. Our vehicles both need some tender loving care, but dont have the casholla to do that. Mine is having a slow leak somewhere with transmission fluid so I check it once a week and now the ignitation switch is going. The van has something going on too.

I was trying to talk out my crisis of faith with Dave, I told him I was mad and upset with God, he said God is big enough for that. He said sometimes when your soul isnt where it needs to be , you need to use your head and do what you know is right, because it is the right thing to do. There is alot of truth there.

The girls finally got their room clean, they have had to be my feet as when I get home I stay off my feet, my ankle which is weak (left) is going to pot and I still have 20 days till insurance kicks in. I think that my Achilles tendon is starting to rip. I have a strange knot forming about a foot up from where that tendon should attach. If I lose that tendon, I wont be able to walk so I am majorly babying this foot, so I dont have that record of a pre existing condition. It got hurt last summer, slipping in mud and has never fully recovered from there but in the last three months it has gone downhill. It really doesnt hurt at all, but feels rather strange.

Tommorow is dedication Sunday, it will be good, but what will be better is when it is done, maybe then life will have some normalacy. Its a nice thought, Viv and Dave are coming down to help us around the house and do little things to be a support. My mom and dad did the same, its the small supports that help you get through.

Well all for now!

a crisis of faith

Three in the morning, I am up and blogging as I woke up out of a dead sleep in a panic. I am a little screwed up right now.

A crisis of faith, maybe not a crisis but a really big bump. All my life deep in my soul I have always just had a hope a faith that God would take care of it, resolve it, fix it, has a plan with it. Something unexplainable. I know that to be true still but that is right now not in my soul but in my head. That is new and somewhat scary for me that I would feel that way. Then I deal with the fact that things could be so much worse, fire, death, etc.

So I sit here, wondering why I am so plaqued with doubt, why am I facing such a soul search?? I feel like I might be like Elijah pouting in his cave, Jonah under his plant, etc. A simple faith like a child is what God requires of me, and yet that seems like such a big thing right now.

Well I will try to lay down again and get some sleep

okay I am a little moody

Guess after reading yesterdays post I am a tad moody, I just get to the end of my rope , need a good cry or scream and then I pick up and keep going.

Being a pastor's wife leaves you with few friends, too dangerous to have close friends in your congretation, have lots of casual friends but no bosom buddies. Blogging has been like a steam valve release in my life. It keeps me sane, so I dont bite heads off chew them up and spit them back out again.

I am awake at 4 this morning hope to get tired and catch a few more winks of sleep. Sleeping patterns are all askew.

Hopefully I get it all together again soon.

defeated and struggling

I know some of my relatives read this but I just need somewhere to vent. Dave and I have had a h*** of a year.

Emotionally we are about spent. Just alot of things, along with his illness, have been a constant barrage of stuff. I have never truely understood what a medical situation can do to your finances, your life, your family.

Our finances are so far in the hole, it is a scrap- by existence, we have almost paid off more medical bills (tons) but we have not had enough to make ends meet. We have never been in a profession where the goal is to get promotion and make money. But I can truely say that this has been the roughest it has been for us since the girls where little very little.

All this stress takes a toil on a family, on a couple, we love each other dearly but it has really got to us.

I keep trying to stay up, but just feel like I have finally run out of steam, trying to change our lifestyle, trying to cut back, just dont know where to start what to do, where to go with all of it. I cry out to God, but things just stay the same. Did I do something wrong? Was I careless, wrong attiude, what is going on? Did I take a wrong turn at Albergue??

This post just sounds depressing, sorry just good to get it off my chest.

long day yesterday but good

Yesterday my offical day off was busy. Got up and got going on the office and laundry. Then got MDK to her sewing circle got MLK to the doctor she has a bad sinus infection, got home fixed lunch then off again to classes. All went well untill MDK got hit in the lip and then we had drama, she missed her dance class becuase it hurt and was bleeding. Then that was done we went to the library, did more schoolwork, then came home and watched the very last eposide of Deep Space Nine and went to bed. I went to sleep around 10:30 but today woke up at 5:30 because MLK was up and coughing. So I am proably going to be very tired tommorow.

One more day of work then I will hopefully be home all Friday, will try to get the house clean. Was able to read a little bit of the book Eragon yesterday while the girls where in class. Also got MDK a new geography/art book. It looks cool. Well better go!

just grumpy and fed up sometimes

Sometimes I get grumpy. I know that is not a shock to some people. Dave feels yucky and tired and not good 80 percent of the time, and sometimes I get fed up with that. Does that make me a bad person. I have had to fill in so many holes and take up a whole lot of slack and sometimes things dont get done because there is just one of me. The girls help but they are still children and need down times for their own mental health. I just get mad at the situation, I dont need Dave to be in a bad mood and short and curt with me when I just try to keep up. Sometimes I feel like most of my day is spent in explaining why things arent done how I am trying to get to that, and apolizing for things not done. I havent read a book or taken photos in months on end. I do indulge and watch a little TV and try to catch a nap and then I feel guilt over that. I am not mad or upset with my husband but just the whole dang thing. This is where I let off steam and get it out of my system.

I sorted out lanundry and cleaned the office from 6-8:30 this morning, got MDK up for her sewing circle and now folded towels, put them away. Sorted through the stuff that needs to go into each girls portfolios . I have sorted through all the stuff in the office, cleaned it except for sweeping and moping it looks alot better. I am printing off my photography class lesson, we are almost done with the classes for this semster. MLK is going to the doc this morning as she cant seem to shake her illness she has slept and slept and taken alot of over the counter stuff but it is just not getting better.

Easter and ranting about TV

Easter was great. Had 211 in church, good postive tone and all around great weekend. MLK is sick but other than that it was a restful and nice weekend.

Now for my soapbox, I will get on it and start my rant. TV is an influence that is not monitered enough in homes anymore. I have yet to understand why we need one in every room of the house. We have one and that is all we will ever have. One gal at work even has one in her bathroom, that is just wierd. I have very little problem with most of the cartoons for little kids, they are usually wholesome, esp. PBS stuff, most of Disney and most of Nick, even though some of the older cartoons are just really stupid.

However sitcoms are really really stupid and very very sexualized. There are just a handful of modern programs, other than documentaries that are decent. TV is a great influence on our society, and I am afraid as a whole it is dumbing us down. If you have ever read Fareheit 451 it gives some insight to it. It was a interesting book. We watch TV at our house but it is tapes and DVD that we choose not the randomness of cable. I am not preaching about getting rid of TV that is not my rant, I just think as parents we shouldnt have the thing on constantly and that we need to just make sure our kids are not watching a bunch of crap.

my gifted girls

today I feel inspired to write about my gifted daughters. My youngest turned 12 yesterday.

MDK has such a friendly dispositation and her ability to make friends with any age is remarkable, she feels as comfortable around a 80 year old as she does around her own age. She is also good to take care of kids younger than her. She is extremely well versed in the kitchen, cooking is like breathing to her and she has a natural knack for all things domestic. She loves being crafty and actually kinda enjoys cleaning.

MLK is my wordsmith, she can wield a pencil like few her age. She has such an imagination, she can make up stories on the spur of a moment and uses words I don't know, she wants to publish a novel and I think she will some day. She writes all the time, and loves to find new words, study words, learn new words. She is currently going through the dictionary to find new words for her stories.

They both have their special gifts, and we cherish that they are both becoming wonderful young ladies!

bday

My baby is 12 today!!!! We have had a birthday party for her with giggly girls, lots of sugar, and lots of screams, but I have survived! Seems unreal that she is 12 today.

aging

Well it is offical, I am aging. I was looking at my toes and they have wrinkles, wow that is wierd. Really, lots of little things are changing, remarkable not too many wrinkles on my face (not much sun worshiping and lots of moisture helps). Hands definately looked a little older too. Body feels older and menopause is starting, I think it is called para menopause, where you start getting all the fun stuff.

MDK decided today would be here offical birthday school day off. Both girls get a day off on their birthday. MDK decided today, she will have two friends tonight, pretty low key party. She is twelve tommorow, where did that time go????

Me and the dog are sitting here on the love seat, this silly little dog has brought so much comfort to my husband, it is a wonderful distraction for him and always curls up with him when he is not having a good physical day.
I am listening to a good book that MDK checked out it is an audio book, it is called Hatchet by Gary Paulsen. A survival type story, well better get around. More later.

run run run

Yesterday I ran and ran and ran, all over creation.
MDK had a sewing circle first thing with two ladies from the church putting together a banner for church. It looks like stained glass, then off to enrichment classes, looked for a dress for MLK formal banquet, and to the dollar store and library and home got home around 8 and boy was I tired.

School is slowly wrapping up, Math is in the final stages along with Science. Slowly and surely we are finishing things, encouraging more free reading as we need to make sure to get all our hours in for the school year. I actually like to get a little over 1000 hours in.

Well off to work today it has been a rather crazy week there too.

It was so warm Monday and now it is cold again, isnt that nutty!

a nice time around the campfire

Had a good church service yesterday had 146 in church yesterday, alot of our illegulars showed up on the same Sunday. Got most of my clothes switched out just in time for us to have a cold dip. Did some research for MLK and high school, prepping for what classes she will take next year. She will need to take around 7 each year with each class having at least 200 hours devoted to it to make it a full credit. So about 1400 hours each year for four years. She is picking out what type of classes in what order she has some that are just required.

Went out to the youth activity at Denny sat around the campfire, hot dogs and smores it was really good, nice time to relax and chat.

Well off to work.